Feeling Indifferent (the spacing on my site is jacked up. sorry)

Indifferent is the only word that I can describe the way i have been feeling lately. God is doing amazing things in my life. He is really speaking to me, really pushing me, really tuning me in to His will. But despite all of this, its like that isn't enough. I think some of this comes from a feeling of loneliness. My friends from church are becoming my best friends, but i only see them on Sundays and Wednesdays (not so many Wednesdays in the summer though). I really do love my friends and I want to see them more often, but I don't want to seem like I'm pushing myself onto someone. I don't know...

Anyway, I have recently picked up reading Shane Claibourne's Jesus for President. This book continues to make me question my lifestyle and many issues regarding politics, economy, war, hunger, persecution, etc. Here is something that I read the other day that has had me pondering:

What is beauty?

When we ponder the wisdom of Christianity gone militant and triumphant, we need only to look on the ruins of Christendom in the regions where Christians ruled by the sword. Look at Europe-England, Sweden, Denmark, perhaps post-Christian USA in a few years. To find Christianity at its best, and the church alive, we need only look to the areas where it is persecuted and peculiar. It's hard to walk away with any other conclusion but that the best way to defeat the kingdom of God is to empower the church to rule the world with the sword, for then it becomes the beast it wishes to destroy.

What good is it to gain the whole world but lose your soul?

Caesar seemed to be able to do anything in the world. But Caesar could not wash feet.

p.p. 177 of Jesus for President