Obedience...

Romans 6:16

Don't you realize that you become a slave of what you choose to obey? You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living.

What are some things that we choose to obey that aren't God? Lying. Sex. Drunkenness. Vengeance. Pride. All of these things are rooted in evil. All of these things ruin the world we live in. All of these things are desires that our flesh longs for. All of the things, they all lead to death. When we choose to obey sin, our lives are dark. When you are a slave to sin, it creeps up in everything you do. Its a disease that will infest your entire life. 


But when we choose to obey God, then our lives are full of the everlasting light that darkness cannot defeat. Being a slave of Christ leads to righteous living. 

So how do we obey? I mean, the simple answer is... you just do it. But if obedience toward God were simple for us, those of us that want to obey Him would always do it. Yet we tend to dis-obey. So there has to be more to it.

I think we have to suffer. Hebrews 5:8 says that Jesus learned His obedience through His suffering. Though I'm still not sure what exactly that means. So we also have to ask God for the wisdom to understand what it means to obey and the strength and will to do so accordingly. We can't just say "I want to be obedient to God" and expect it to happen. We have to have a desire that isn't empty in discipline and principle.


What do YOU think?

Submission Sucks

This is going to be one of those blog posts in which I am extremely honest... again. You've been warned.

I want to follow God whole heartedly. I want to spread His fame all over the world. I want people to know what God has for them and what Jesus did for them. I want for there to be a well-spring of life flowing from within my heart and flooding my life so that others may see the Lord I serve.

I want all of these things, but still I don't trust in God all the way. I mean, I do trust Him. And I do live for Him more than a lot of people in this world. But thats not what He asks of me. I have to give all of myself in order to truly love and trust Him. James chapter 4 says that "if I draw close to God, He will draw close to me." I know this to be true. When I read the word and pray/talk to Him, He does amazing things. And when I don't do these things my life suffers.

See, right now, I put up a pretty large front. I appear to be happy to most people. But on the inside I am a total wreck. I can go from "happy" to angry/sad/down/shut down mode in a matter of seconds over the dumbest things. It has began to effect a friendship and has gone farther than it should. Sometimes, I just write it off as something that happens from time to time. But its become so frequent that I often fear that it is depression.

But here is the thing. I know what the problem is. I don't try to draw closer to God a lot of the time. I don't feast on the flesh of Jesus, nor do I ask the Father for wisdom, knowledge, or even an appetite for the word. all of these things I should do yet I do not. Isn't that silly? Foolish? ABSURD?!

I think it is.

So if you are reading this and have any sort of advice (other than read the word and pray) please share...

 

Something is wrong when christians are more passionate about politics than living out the gospel

This is a post a friend of mine did on his blog.

I’m ready for this election to be over. I’m ready for the stupid email forwards to stop. I’m ready for these low budget, mud-slinging tv ads to stop. These local politicians look more like used car salesmen with these cheesy ads. I’m ready for people to stop saying you have to vote for McCain…if you are a christian. I’m ready for people to stop voting straight republican because they are simply a Christian. Im ready for people to stop saying you can’t be a Christian & vote Democratic. The last time I checked…the democratic philosophies line up more to the Gospels…than the Republican philosophies (we will save that topic for another day) I’m ready for Christians to stop waving the banner of pro-life…all the while waving the banner of pro-war. That mindset seems to contradict itself to me. It doesn’t make sense to me. You can’t be against killing babies, and supportive of killing terrorists. I guess we skipped over the whole love your neighbor & enemy as yourself command. ‘I can’t kill babies, but man I’m right there with Toby Keith on this war on terror…that Osama Bin Laden has got to pay for what he did to us’.
Im ready for Christians, who base their vote simply on the issue of abortion, to step up and actually help these moms who have these babies. I’m ready for pro-lifers to start being pro-adoption. If you want abortion stopped…then you need to step up & make yourselves available to adopt these children. If you are too old to adopt…then help out families who are adopting. I’m ready for people, especially Christians, to stop putting their hope & trust in a guy running for president. One man alone can’t change the situation we are in. It will take a group effort. It will take the Church actually doing what it is called to do.
It’s sad to see Christians have more passion & fervor about politics than they do about living out the Gospel on a daily basis. When did we start putting our hope & trust in the Republican or Democratic party? When did we start putting our trust in the stock market & our 401k? It seems like we have gotten so far away from what it really means to be a Christian.
When are we going to start being the change that we want? When will the American Christian realize that the answer is not the Republican or Democratic party. The answer lies within each & everyone of us. The answer & course of history & the state of which this world is in…depends on believers like you & I living out the Gospel on a daily basis. Change will not come as a result of who you vote for to be the next president. Change will only come when we decide to live a life of sacrifice & love. Change will only come when we decide, as Christians, to live out the story of the redeeming love of Christ.

"And your name is?"

1 John 2:15-17 says this..

Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love for the Father in not in him. Because everything that belongs to the world - the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride in one's lifestyle - is not from the Father, but is from the world. And the world with its lust is passing away, but the one who does God's will remains forever.

There are so many people who say "I love God" and probably think that they do indeed love Him. They are at "church" on Sunday and Wednesday, know the words to worship songs, and have their bibles with them at every service. As far as one could see, these people would truly love the world. But so many times, there would be another side to these people. They have a different set of friends that they "go out" with. They are known for their partying and desire for a "good time". The truth is, outside of the church building, nothing screamed Jesus. But that's okay, right? At least they are in church on Sunday and Wednesday, which is better than most people can do, right?

But if what 1 John says is true, then the love for the Father is not in them. The love of the world and its lustful sins are what truly resides in their heart. And like the verses say, "the worlds with its lust is passing away." So would that mean that someone who calls their self a Christian and "prayed a prayer" yet still lusts after the world is going to remain forever or pass away? More on that in a bit...

Now, the person I have been talking about above is someone you, the reader may know. Honestly, it is me. Or at least it was. But for you to understand this, I have to confess something to you.

A few weeks ago, I hung out with some friends of mine on a boat. We had some beer while we were out but nothing out of line. We stayed out for about 5 hours before coming in. There was a party happening that night for my friends that were leaving the next weekend to go back to school in Knoxville. I knew there would be drinking going on and I went with a friend to get some drinks to take over there. When I got to the party, there were quite a few people there. I had some good beer from a local brewery in Nashville and that's all I had planned on having. One of the guys who lived at this place had a few guitars and He and I began jamming a little. The people in the kitchen were drinking way more than I had thought and I decided to have some too. Later, something in my head decided i should try to catch up to those who had been drinking more, so I took more shots than I should have. Long story short, I got drunk. I had never felt this drunk in my life (only been drunk a few times, and that was years ago), and it didn't feel very good. But I didn't care too much. While I was trying to help someone, who was passed out on the deck, try to sit out of the way, I had a sobering-of-the-heart (not mind) moment. I kinda heard the question "why are you here?" The rest of the night I focused on this question as much as I could. I did get sick, and I did feel terrible the rest of the night.

The next morning was Sunday, and I made it to church for service. I couldn't sing to God. I wanted to but as hard as I tried I couldn't. It wasn't until I addressed the problem with God that I felt okay to sing. Like God had been asking me "Are you seriously about to stroll in here like nothing happened last night?" So I knew I needed to talk to God and confess my sin, and thats what I did.

(Before I continue, I must apologize. I'm sorry about claiming the name of Christ and doing these things. If you read this and are angry with me for it, know that I am so very sorry for what I have done and please continue to read.)

The week after all of this I felt like complete garbage for my actions. And the week after that, I met someone who was on fire for God. And as the conversation that we were having continued, I began to see the face of Jesus in her. She was moving her lips but the Holy Spirit was doing all the work and speaking to me. She talked about how she had been "saved" when she was younger but it wasn't until 2 years ago that Jesus had Lordship over her life. That blew me away because I thought to myself "Is Jesus the Lord of my life?" And the answer was an obvious NO. The Holy Spirit then said this through her:

Matthew 7:21-23

Not everyone who says to Me "Lord, Lord!" will enter the Kingdom of Heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in Heaven. On that day many will say to me "Lord, Lord! Didn't we prophesy in Your name, drive out deamons in Your name, and do many miracles in Your name?" Then I will announce to them "Depart from me! I never knew you, you lawbreakers!"

I thought to myself, "Man, if I die right now, is that what Jesus will say to me?" The thought scares me. So for the last few weeks I have really been trying to live for God. I have allowed Jesus to have Lordship over my life rather than on Sundays and Wednesdays and sometimes throughout the week. He has renewed and appetite for the Word, showed me how to recognize the opportunities He gives for me to share His Word, and He has developed friendships with people in which I can learn more about His Word. All this because I have allowed Him to rule my life. I truly gained life by giving it up!

We all go to heaven, and are all held accountable for our lives. The question is, will Jesus know your name and account for you?

Busy, Busy, Busy

So sorry guys and gals about the lack of blogging. Here is what i have been up to:

• Working 60 hours a week.
• Playing bass for "The Jeff Newman Experience" at Parkway Baptist Church's Vertical Reality.
• Hanging out with Berger before he lest for Tech this last Wednesday night.
• Taking my first step into evangelizing with Berger.
• Doing stuff with Yvonne.
• Meeting new people at Jozoara's in the boro.
• Leading my life group on sunday nights for the last month.

So needless to say, i have been unable to really sit down and do any in depth blogging. And this is not in depth either. 

I promise to post something good soon.

I would like you to meet... The McGreephs

The Return of the Prodigal Son

Here is a video of Phil Wickham talking about his inspiration for his song "Home".



 I cant tell you how many times I have tried to take God for granted and only be able to finally turn back to The Father. With hind-sight being 20/20, I can see that so often God runs to me. I can only pray that everyday I turn my back on the sinful things of this world and run to God as He runs to me, and becoming more and more in tune with His will and His love.

"I'm Inspired By"

This is a play on something that I saw on Aaron Ivey's blog that I really liked. On occasion I will post a list of thigs that have inspired me recently.

• Acts.
• Shane Claiborne's Jesus for President.
• Wavorly.
• Talking to my friend Yvonne.
• Laughing uncontrollably with Em. J.
• The post entitled "Red Bull Christianity" over at SCL.

 

Feeling Indifferent (the spacing on my site is jacked up. sorry)

Indifferent is the only word that I can describe the way i have been feeling lately. God is doing amazing things in my life. He is really speaking to me, really pushing me, really tuning me in to His will. But despite all of this, its like that isn't enough. I think some of this comes from a feeling of loneliness. My friends from church are becoming my best friends, but i only see them on Sundays and Wednesdays (not so many Wednesdays in the summer though). I really do love my friends and I want to see them more often, but I don't want to seem like I'm pushing myself onto someone. I don't know...

Anyway, I have recently picked up reading Shane Claibourne's Jesus for President. This book continues to make me question my lifestyle and many issues regarding politics, economy, war, hunger, persecution, etc. Here is something that I read the other day that has had me pondering:

What is beauty?

When we ponder the wisdom of Christianity gone militant and triumphant, we need only to look on the ruins of Christendom in the regions where Christians ruled by the sword. Look at Europe-England, Sweden, Denmark, perhaps post-Christian USA in a few years. To find Christianity at its best, and the church alive, we need only look to the areas where it is persecuted and peculiar. It's hard to walk away with any other conclusion but that the best way to defeat the kingdom of God is to empower the church to rule the world with the sword, for then it becomes the beast it wishes to destroy.

What good is it to gain the whole world but lose your soul?

Caesar seemed to be able to do anything in the world. But Caesar could not wash feet.

p.p. 177 of Jesus for President

Noise Cancelation

I've been preparing a bible study for the Life Group that I am a part of on Sunday evenings. When I was asked to do it, I thought about what I could use and decided to use a NOOMA video. I'd seen the first 8 videos and hit up youtube to find the other 12. Well, this is the one that I think I'll use. 



So, this video it fantastic in my opinion. 

Tell me what you think about it...

And On This Day... We Celebrate!

Okay, the 4th of July as always taken a back seat when I'm asked what my favorite holiday is. It's either been Christmas or Thanksgiving. But as the years go by, I'm learning that I really do like the 4th of July. Actually, I love how the holiday is really 4 days long! Fireworks don't annoy me and unlike some people, I welcome my neighbors shooting off fireworks late into the the night even if its not the 4th yet! (It's 12:20am and i just heard something explode outside!)

Fireworks dazzle me... I can watch them for hours, in a daze like an A.D.D. kid coming down after taking his meds. So, needless to say, tomorrow night when our college aged group is in downtown Nash-vegas watching what is one of the nations top 4th of July Extravaganzas, I will experience 25 minutes of pure bliss!

P.S. To all you "Old Men" (sorry Aaron... I had to) out there, sit back, relax, and enjoy the magic of spending this holiday with those you love!

A Family in Need of Prayer

Most who read this blog know about the Ivey family. We'll things are getting difficult for them and their adoption process. I can't even begin to imagine how tough this must be for Aaron and Jamie to go through. I don't want to share the whole story so you can read about it here.

To the Iveys: I love you guys! And though we don't really know each other, my heart hurts for you.

I want to learn Joy

This has been on my mind for a couple of weeks..



I have just recently seen a film entitled Invisible Children. Filmed in 2003 by three young guys who wanted to Uganda and do something with their lives, it was a story about the civil unrest that was going on in that country at the time. Basically, there was a group of rebels that was fighting against the government and killed many innocent people, including children. These rebels would also come in the middle of the night and rip children from their beds and force them to be in their army. Children between the ages of 6 and 15 i think were targets due to their weakness to brain washing. So these kids would go to the next town every night and sleep together just so they would be abducted. Most of them orphaned by the death of their family at the hands of the rebels.

A friend of mine just spent three weeks in the same village that this was filmed in. The thing is, I had no clue about what was going on over there until after she was back. I mean, I knew that there was unrest there and everything but I just played it off like it was no big deal. But when I saw this film, I had to ask her about Uganda and how things were there. What she told me shook everything that that I had grown custom when it comes to my faith in God.

She told me first that the leader of the rebels, who was briefly discussed in the film, had been killed. Then she told me that when he died, the children armies died as well. I let out a sigh of relief because I remember seeing these kids with guns being forced to kill or be killed and it broke my heart. I asked her what was going there now and she told me that they are trying to rebuild and bounce back. She said there is major lack of food and stuff like that.

Then I asked her if she learned anything and she told me that more than anything she learned Joy. I thought to myself, "that's not what I expected to hear". So I asked her why and she said that the people there are more focused on Jesus than their next meal. They truly love the Lord and praise Him for everything.

Now let's be honest here. That makes me feel like dirt. I have a hard time believing that I would be content with the Lord if I had nothing else. I like to think that I would celebrate Jesus if I had nothing, but I doubt i would. Now, I have to ask myself.. How do I love Jesus like them. I want to really know what it feels like so see myself as someone who has nothing, yet has everything!

My Hair (2)

So my hair finally got on my last nerve last week. Something had to be done so I had a good 4 inches cut off. I went to this place that was like heaven for men. It's called Sports Clips. A friend had given me a coupon for a free hair cut so I decided to try it. What they did was first cut my hair, then wash it while I sat in a massage chair, then a scalp massage, and finally a hot towel on my face. So, if you are a dude and want to be treated like royalty for $20 bucks, try this place out.

Be very very quiet... I'm hunting for a job.

So here is a list of the types of places i would like to work.

• My Church
• A music store
• A book store
• Or something that can help me earn some good cash...

Any ideas from my few readers?

My hair

For those of you who know me in the flesh (this excludes Aaron Ivey and Jimmie Ingram), you know that I wear a particular hat every day. My hat is something that has become a part of me. Not only does it look cool with it's gray color (or colour if you are British) but it also is one of those awesome knit caps with the super small bill. It kinda has a reggae feel to it so you could say that I'm more cultured because of it. I digress...

The main purpose of my lovely hat is, however, to keep my hair out of my FREAKING FACE!! My hair gets on my nerves! It is so long! And I know what you're thinking. I should get a hair cut. I see a conversation going like this..

You: Dude, you could use a hair cut.

Me: Yeah, I know.

You: So why don't you go get one?

Me: I don't know... I just like to complain about it.
I think
You: That's pretty lame.

Me: Yeah, I know.


I think the thing I like about my long hair is that when I was in high school, I always wanted long hair. Instead I went with the Faux-Hawk... I know... shut it! Also, my grandparents hate it! It's weird though, my grandfather has tattoos and an earring so those can slide, but long hair is over stepping my boundaries. So my long hair makes me a rebel... Yeah, that sounds cool. Anyway, the picture above is for future reference because I have a feeling that a hair cut is on its way.

Using Staind Songs as blog titles: It's Been A While

Well, not only has been a week or so since I checked email, facebook, or my blog... its been that same amount of time since I could sit at a computer, or sit in general without horrible pain. Long story short, I have a Pilonidal Cyst. Don't know what that is, eh? Look it up on Web MD and save me the time of telling you some private things about myself. Needless to say, it is very painful, gross, and more than likely going to require surgery that will leave a nice sized whole in my body. I was scheduled for a surgery yesterday, however the surgeon talked me out of it and gave me some more medication. All in all, everything feels fine right now and I hope this thing will go away.

Now that that's out of the way, my next posts should be less about my ailments and more about.... other stuff... I guess.

Blessed to be a blessing.

Most of us are extremely blessed, correct? I mean, we have a roof to live under, running water, air conditioned rooms under that roof, and if you are reading this... then you have a computer with internet access. We are able to go buy food, drive places to get said food, some play musical instruments, some go to school, spending thousands of dollars to get through it...

Yet with everything that we have, we find time to complain about the smallest things. I, personally, complain about some of the dumbest things. Like having to listen to a certain type of music when riding with my friend. I'm ridiculous. I really am. some people don't have cars, or food, or electricity. Why is it that we are so consumed with ourselves and how well off we are, while others live a life we can't even imagine?


Why do we shield our eyes from those that desperately need our help?

I Hate _____!

So i have been noticing something lately about some of my friends. Ever since i read one of this guy's blogs about only having friends that agree with our beliefs and ideals, I have noticed that i actually do have a couple of friends that i do not see eye to eye with. And thats okay. I feel like bragging about it honestly. It feels nice to know that i don't have to be the same as someone else to be friends. This does, however, make for some uncomfortable times of conversation, in which i often find myself wanting to put up walls and get the heck away from it. I don't know why i do that. Looking from the inside out i don't see myself as that kind of person. But every time a topic comes up that i have an opinion about and we talk about it, i end up getting frustrated and saying "whatever" and fighting through the next few minutes of awkward silence.

This is open for all like 2 readers (if that many) to discuss.

What are the topics that frustrate you?

Old blog from my now extinct MySpace...

"We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting, and the climax and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, wouldn't it? It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out.

I want to repeat one word for you: Leave.

Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it?

So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed."

(Excerpt from Through Painted Deserts)
- Donald Miller


One story, that’s all. One story is all we get. God has that story ready for us to live. To act out. Yet most of us are sitting here and being lazy.

I tell you this, if you are not taking part in your story... LEAVE!!! Get out there and live your life for God. Not for yourself. We are all self-addicted. Some more than most.

Love God. Love Everyone. Not love yourself and no one else. You have to care about others feel over yourself. People are part of the Elements God has placed before you. So don't tell people that you'll do something and then not do it. And don't complain about someone does things and then be just like them. That’s called being a hypocrite.

It may be time to leave. To Change. To SHINE.

And everything that will still be here.... its okay.

Daddy, I want to be a professional wrestler!

So, I've had deep thoughts for a while now.

I have friends, friends that talk to me, that show they care, that influence me. I have friends who help me when i need it, who make me laugh, that make me cry, who are honest with me. I love my friends.

I have friends that let certain things and/or people get in their way of a close relationship with God. Whether it be a dead musician, vanity issues, the words they say, or the way that they treat someone when they aren't at a listening distance. I love my friends.

I know people that I thought were friends that I'm not so sure about now. Some, actually all, stopped talking to me. How do I respond to that? I mean I want to be friends with these people. Sure, at times some talk to me, want to hang out and be in fellowship. But, its all so common that they go forever without talking.

No, while all of the above is something I am thinking about, it's not what is heavy on my mind. I've been in a dry place with God and I didn't wuite know what to do about it. But, I know now that I need to wrestle with Him. The truth is that I'm going to come across things that I don't understand or maybe even like about God and instead of just throwing them in the "I don't like that part" pile, I have to fight about it, scrap with God, and hammer it out.

Just like Jacob did in Genesis, we have to wrestle with God not giving up. We have to wrestle as long as we can and this is how we aill be transformed in God. So now, I go to wrestle...

In Light of an Amazing Day!

Do you ever wake up in the morning, or go to sleep the night before, and just know that the day your are about to have will be fantastic? I had one of those days today. I could feel God in everything today! It was like everything that I got to experience was God filled and I was constantly reminded of God beauty, creativity, mercy, power, will, etc. It goes all the way back to last night actually. Berger invited me to dinner at his house and to stay the night. Dinner was crazy good and was followed by fresh apple pie and vanilla ice cream! Then we went a got a movie from Mcdonald's (funny how I won't eat there anymore but I will rent movies!) We watched "Into The Wild" while drinking some coffee from Brazil that I didn't really like all to much. The movie was so good! It's definitely a movie you should pick up and get into. That night I read a good bit of The Barbarian Way before hitting the sack.

8:00a.m. rolls around and I get up, hop in the shower and Berger and I are off to meet my new friend Emily (who is so awesomely awesome) for breakfast at MTSU's campus. We eat what turns out to be a good breakfast, and then walk her to her class and then Berger and I visit some buildings and go get his boards to skate around campus. We do some skating and stuff in the BEAUTIFUL weather and just enjoy God's creation! Then we meet up with Emily and sit around and talk outside for a bit about whatever is on our minds. Shortly after, we decide to split to Emily's apt. to drop her stuff off and to pick up Thaddeus, the majestic bald eagle kite. After stopping by my house we hit up the Disc Golf course with Nate and play a round of 18 holes. It was so much fun playing with everyone, hanging out, and being in the sunshine!

After that, we head to Sonic and Emily gets us free sonic food (told you she is amazing)!! Grilled Chicken sandwich with honey mustard, tots, and a "Route 66" strawberry slush. So tasty! We grub and decide to go to the park and fly Thaddeus and ride long boards some more. It doesn't long for me to finally bust it while on the long board. I skinned my knee so good... ouch! We head back to my house and on the way I realize that I don't have my phone. But I need to clean my knee up so I do that and tell Yvonne that I'm going to miss seeing "Horton Hears a Who" but will meet up after. So, I clean my wound, and someone calls Yvonne to tell her that they found my phone. That, was God working. I really didn't need to lose my phone. So I go get my phone from the disc golf course, come back to the house and chill, and then go hang out with everyone and play Apples-to-Apples and Hoopla! I just loved having fellowship today with everyone!

God revealed Himself to me all day and I loved it! When is a time that God revealed Himself to you?

The Barbarian Way

This week our college-age group at church was on mission in New Orleans and they made a safe return today before the snow moved in. I can't wait to hear the stories about their experiences and stuff. Above is something I randomly sketched in my moleskine on Thursday or so.

Also, the last few days have been so good! I've really enjoyed spending time with great friends, watching good movies, sharing meals with loving people around the dinner table, and unexpectedly holding hands with special people. In the last three days, I watched Across the Universe, Once (for like the 4th time), Definitely Maybe, and Love Actually. I thought Across the Universe was incredible! The same goes for Definitely Maybe! Love Actually, honestly I was kinda confused for a lot of the film, however, it all came together in the end and made it quite good. So thats two British films and and Irish film, and then an American one. I find myself saying a few words with either a British or Irish accent. But more important than the movies themselves, are the really special memories I will have of seeing them with really special people next to me.


But now, to the book I've been reading, aptly named The Barbarian Way. It was so weird last night. As I was telling my best Texas friend (and one of my truly best friends) Leslie, I felt as though the author was getting his points across to me very well. It could have been me very easily, but regardless, I wasn't getting deep. Anyway, Les had to go for a bit so I picked the book up and went to where I left off and everything I read from there was like a heavenly kick to the face. He spoke about the likeness and differences between the Ancients named in Hebrews 11 and the nameless later mentioned. How those Ancients were barbarians that lived by faith and have been remembered for a lot of the amazing things that happened to them during their lives, likewise those not named are also barbarians but in many cases had things happen to them such as having their back cut open by whips and yet they didn't turn away from God. And so I went straight to my bible and read Hebrews 11 just before Les called back. We talked about that for a bit before we both went to bed.

Romans 23:1-2 says this...

1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

The above was highlighted tonight at church. A good man named David Mcamens (sp) conversed with us about how we couldn't do anything for God if it weren't for his mercy. David tends to go on tangents from time to time (and by that i mean quite often) and his tangents are always helpful in understanding the point that God is trying to get across through him, and they are usually pretty hilarious. However, one of his tangents spoke volumes to me tonight. In this particular tangent he said "I came up with this today, it may be cool, it may not be cool. Our vision must be in God's submission for us and therefore our lives in submission to Him." And after he said that, I had a light bulp begin to flicker and then come on full power.

See, I recently read Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne, and this man has such a vision and passion for the poor. As many people can attest, this book can really rock your foundations when it comes to your attitude towards the poor, as it has mine. So as I read this book, I was thinking about a friend of mine named Brandon Berger. Brandon has gone to Nashville to feed the poor numerous times and has developed the beginning of a passion that i can see in him. I recommended this book highly to him. He had it for a day or two before he called me saying "Man, I want to go sleep with the homeless now." I told him I knew how he felt, but the truth is, that's something that I just throw around out of habit. The even more evident truth now is that I too want to sleep with the homeless and get and idea of what they face. I want to know what their troubles are. How i can help. How God want to move me towards helping them.

Any thoughts on this would be much appreciated, and you don't have to be a member to comment!

P.S. A lot of my most recent daily thinking have come from a combination of God, Steven Bush's blog and Aaron Ivey's blog, Irresistible Revolution, and the first few pages of The Barbarian Way.

"and tired" always followed sick.

And tired always followed sick. Worst beating I ever got in my life, my mother said, "Well I am just sick," and I said "And tired." I don't remember anything after that. - Bill Cosby

I hate Satan! I hate how every time i start to do well in my walk with God i mess it up! Frankly, im sick and tired of it. I want to live for Christ. I want for people to see Christ when they look at me. Why is this so hard?

Building A Community

Dictionary.com has 13 results for the word community. Here are a few.

1. Ecclesiastical. A group of men or women leading a common life according to a rule
2. Joint possession, enjoyment, liability.
3. Similar Character; agreement; identity

How do we make a community here in our group of college-age students at FBC? Shane Claiborne talks a lot about community in his book, and when i try to describe his ideas (or mostly realizations about the early church of Acts) i tend to butcher it and make him sound like a communist. He's not. Or maybe he is, but not the communist that most people think of. Anyway, he talks a lot about coming to the aid of one another. If, someone needs something, then everyone rises to help them. Etc. Etc.

I think that its important to do certain things together in a community. To name a few: Prayer, eat together (when you can), share possessions, and learning as a unit. The group i'm now a part of has shown me the importance of doing these things. The funny thing is, we haven't really eaten together (super bowl sorta counts) nor do we share possessions. And i think thats going to come down to us sharing homes with one another for meals. I think there is so much potential to grow as a unit around the dinner table and to discuss our personal problems with our brothers and sister. Besides, Shane says that he is very reluctant to come speak somewhere if he can't stay in someones house, and i think that is great! He wants to stay with someone and bond with them instead of being alone. Humans aren't meant to be alone.

I just want to grow into this group, and become part of it. I want for it to look on the outside and influence the world with love and for that love to be the love for Christ and the love of others as ourselves. There are people that need us! let's do something to help!

I Ignored God

Last night I was reading in Ezra, and as I was reading I became very bored. The king of Persia had told all the Israelites that the temple in Jerusalem was to be rebuilt and that if any of them wished to return there, they were free to do so with the King's blessing. So it started to name off all the people that left Babylon. This guy and all 80 members of his family... That guy and all 120 of his. Needless to say, I was about o fall asleep. I was about to close my bible when I had this thought in my head telling me to keep going, that I might get something out of it. You know what I did? I went back to where I had left off, but then i thought "No, I'm tired. I'm done." and I closed my bible.

I deliberately ignored God when he told me to do something. Maybe that's why, for some reason last night, I had this period where I tossed and turned and kicked and groaned and fought to get back to sleep.

Why did I do that though? I mean, what is so hard about reading a little further in scripture, especially when it was so obvious that I needed to? I don't quite know what it is that makes it so incredibly difficult to fully adhere to God's will and commands.

So tonight, as you may have guessed, I'll be reading out of Ezra.

It could be worse

Okay, so I'm real sick. All I did today was spread germs. Yuck!

Here's a funny!

The more I find You, The more I love You

The Sacred Gathering has come and gone, and in times like these, I would usually ask "What now God?" But no! Not this time.

So I've been pretty sick today, the kind of sick that makes nothing fun. All day, laying around, eating things that when you were a kid made you feel better. My voice sounded terrible today so I tried to warm it up before church so I could sing tonight. During worship, I crackled so bad, I had no control over pitch, I could barely find the melody of a song, yet it was the most beautiful moment I have ever experienced between my God and I. Brandon asked us once again to get alone with God and as I made my way to my place, I knew that sitting would not cut it. I had this urge to be on my knees. So I went. Then to my hands, then to my face. Before you know it I am lying totally on the floor before God praying for my friend and praying for my failures. As far as I know, the only people in that room were God and I.

So its time to come back to our seats... wait, (tangent) I had a feeling that I should stay where I was but I got up anyway. Why did I get up? Hmm... Anyway, so I return to my feet, but I don't get up alone, no, I'm accompanied by a massive, pounding, headache. I kinda walk back to my seat and as I stand there, I can barely hold myself up, I can barely lift my had to God when I feel Him. What I can't do (and this is coming to me as I type) is lift my head to face Him, I can't sing. In a matter of 15-20 minutes, I am unable to physically face God, I am unable to speak with God in song.

Like Brandon said to me, maybe I need to just shut up and listen.

Honest Worship

You could've heard us for miles tonight. Singing our hearts out to God Almighty. With voices praising and stomachs aching for the Lord, we worshiped. But how often do we worship only in an atmosphere such as the one we were in tonight? I know that its not too often for me. Sure there are times when I have that moment with God when I'm playing guitar in my room or something but it no where near enough. Not saying that those moments aren't special because they are. Its just that I'm one to believe that not every worship experience should leave you feeling wonderful. Sometimes, during worship, I feel terrible because I know that I don't take the time to praise Him when I know that I absolutely can.

Last night I read trough all of Song of Songs, and as I read, my imagination ran wild. I envisioned a young man and young woman so in love with one another that every "hello" would be given as though they hadn't seen one another for years but had talked quite regularly (you know the one) and every "goodbye" was shared like the one shared if you are going off to war. I want my relationship with God to be just like this. Anytime I feel like He isn't around, I go on a search for Him, turning over anything and everything to find Him. I want communicate with Him almost in song because of my love for Him. And I want for Him to constantly touch me and tell me that I am His and His alone...

All in all, this time of fasting was beyond unbelievable. I have had my eyes opened and now I want to explore more about fasting and its effect on my relationship with God.

What a Sacred Gathering

Tonight marked the second night of our Sacred Gathering at church. I feel God working in me. I feel His spirit living in me. He has laid some things on my heart that I need to face, some things I new about, and some I thought were gone. He is also bringing me closer with my new church family.

I am becoming closer and closer with Brandon and Crystal with every day that I get to see them. I envy the relationship that they have with one another, for it is pure and compassionate. My prayer partner, Justin, is such a great guy! He is honest and true right in the face of God and that is something I aspire to be. Our little prayer "huddle" was so in tune with God's heart tonight that I believe our faces were glowing with the Glory of the King of Kings. You know what that feels like for me? It feels like an earthquake of the soul. An unspeakable energy, pulsating from my inner most being, out through my hands, feet, voice, and eventually my entire body. Its pure and Holy.

During our prayer "huddle", Brandon prayed for me. He prayed a number of things but the one that went deeper than any other was a prayer that i would hunger for scripture and desire to soak it up. That prayer cut straight to my heart like the bitter wind of winter.We all know that wind, the wind that makes long goodbyes at the car become quick "see ya"s. This desire for scripture is esential to me. Its something I lack, yet have always been interested in. But now, mere interest isn't going to work, I need a desperation for it. I need to understand God's Ruah as much as the scriptures will allow. The same goes for the deeper meanings of Raya, Ahavah, and Dod. All things that have interested me but i have yet to go deeper with.

Father, I love you. Place within me a burning desire to devour your Holy Scripture with a heart that is after Your own. I need to thank You for those You have placed in my life in the last weeks Father and ask that You cherish them, because You know that I do. Draw us closer as you draw me to You. I love you!


In Jesus Christ, Amen.

New Ground

I’ve decided to move away from the now generic myspace when it comes to blogging. I just find that less and less people blog on there and actually speak their mind. So in fear of becoming that person, I am here to express feelings on whatever I feel necessary.