The more I find You, The more I love You

The Sacred Gathering has come and gone, and in times like these, I would usually ask "What now God?" But no! Not this time.

So I've been pretty sick today, the kind of sick that makes nothing fun. All day, laying around, eating things that when you were a kid made you feel better. My voice sounded terrible today so I tried to warm it up before church so I could sing tonight. During worship, I crackled so bad, I had no control over pitch, I could barely find the melody of a song, yet it was the most beautiful moment I have ever experienced between my God and I. Brandon asked us once again to get alone with God and as I made my way to my place, I knew that sitting would not cut it. I had this urge to be on my knees. So I went. Then to my hands, then to my face. Before you know it I am lying totally on the floor before God praying for my friend and praying for my failures. As far as I know, the only people in that room were God and I.

So its time to come back to our seats... wait, (tangent) I had a feeling that I should stay where I was but I got up anyway. Why did I get up? Hmm... Anyway, so I return to my feet, but I don't get up alone, no, I'm accompanied by a massive, pounding, headache. I kinda walk back to my seat and as I stand there, I can barely hold myself up, I can barely lift my had to God when I feel Him. What I can't do (and this is coming to me as I type) is lift my head to face Him, I can't sing. In a matter of 15-20 minutes, I am unable to physically face God, I am unable to speak with God in song.

Like Brandon said to me, maybe I need to just shut up and listen.