Romans 23:1-2 says this...

1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

The above was highlighted tonight at church. A good man named David Mcamens (sp) conversed with us about how we couldn't do anything for God if it weren't for his mercy. David tends to go on tangents from time to time (and by that i mean quite often) and his tangents are always helpful in understanding the point that God is trying to get across through him, and they are usually pretty hilarious. However, one of his tangents spoke volumes to me tonight. In this particular tangent he said "I came up with this today, it may be cool, it may not be cool. Our vision must be in God's submission for us and therefore our lives in submission to Him." And after he said that, I had a light bulp begin to flicker and then come on full power.

See, I recently read Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne, and this man has such a vision and passion for the poor. As many people can attest, this book can really rock your foundations when it comes to your attitude towards the poor, as it has mine. So as I read this book, I was thinking about a friend of mine named Brandon Berger. Brandon has gone to Nashville to feed the poor numerous times and has developed the beginning of a passion that i can see in him. I recommended this book highly to him. He had it for a day or two before he called me saying "Man, I want to go sleep with the homeless now." I told him I knew how he felt, but the truth is, that's something that I just throw around out of habit. The even more evident truth now is that I too want to sleep with the homeless and get and idea of what they face. I want to know what their troubles are. How i can help. How God want to move me towards helping them.

Any thoughts on this would be much appreciated, and you don't have to be a member to comment!

P.S. A lot of my most recent daily thinking have come from a combination of God, Steven Bush's blog and Aaron Ivey's blog, Irresistible Revolution, and the first few pages of The Barbarian Way.

"and tired" always followed sick.

And tired always followed sick. Worst beating I ever got in my life, my mother said, "Well I am just sick," and I said "And tired." I don't remember anything after that. - Bill Cosby

I hate Satan! I hate how every time i start to do well in my walk with God i mess it up! Frankly, im sick and tired of it. I want to live for Christ. I want for people to see Christ when they look at me. Why is this so hard?

Building A Community

Dictionary.com has 13 results for the word community. Here are a few.

1. Ecclesiastical. A group of men or women leading a common life according to a rule
2. Joint possession, enjoyment, liability.
3. Similar Character; agreement; identity

How do we make a community here in our group of college-age students at FBC? Shane Claiborne talks a lot about community in his book, and when i try to describe his ideas (or mostly realizations about the early church of Acts) i tend to butcher it and make him sound like a communist. He's not. Or maybe he is, but not the communist that most people think of. Anyway, he talks a lot about coming to the aid of one another. If, someone needs something, then everyone rises to help them. Etc. Etc.

I think that its important to do certain things together in a community. To name a few: Prayer, eat together (when you can), share possessions, and learning as a unit. The group i'm now a part of has shown me the importance of doing these things. The funny thing is, we haven't really eaten together (super bowl sorta counts) nor do we share possessions. And i think thats going to come down to us sharing homes with one another for meals. I think there is so much potential to grow as a unit around the dinner table and to discuss our personal problems with our brothers and sister. Besides, Shane says that he is very reluctant to come speak somewhere if he can't stay in someones house, and i think that is great! He wants to stay with someone and bond with them instead of being alone. Humans aren't meant to be alone.

I just want to grow into this group, and become part of it. I want for it to look on the outside and influence the world with love and for that love to be the love for Christ and the love of others as ourselves. There are people that need us! let's do something to help!

I Ignored God

Last night I was reading in Ezra, and as I was reading I became very bored. The king of Persia had told all the Israelites that the temple in Jerusalem was to be rebuilt and that if any of them wished to return there, they were free to do so with the King's blessing. So it started to name off all the people that left Babylon. This guy and all 80 members of his family... That guy and all 120 of his. Needless to say, I was about o fall asleep. I was about to close my bible when I had this thought in my head telling me to keep going, that I might get something out of it. You know what I did? I went back to where I had left off, but then i thought "No, I'm tired. I'm done." and I closed my bible.

I deliberately ignored God when he told me to do something. Maybe that's why, for some reason last night, I had this period where I tossed and turned and kicked and groaned and fought to get back to sleep.

Why did I do that though? I mean, what is so hard about reading a little further in scripture, especially when it was so obvious that I needed to? I don't quite know what it is that makes it so incredibly difficult to fully adhere to God's will and commands.

So tonight, as you may have guessed, I'll be reading out of Ezra.

It could be worse

Okay, so I'm real sick. All I did today was spread germs. Yuck!

Here's a funny!

The more I find You, The more I love You

The Sacred Gathering has come and gone, and in times like these, I would usually ask "What now God?" But no! Not this time.

So I've been pretty sick today, the kind of sick that makes nothing fun. All day, laying around, eating things that when you were a kid made you feel better. My voice sounded terrible today so I tried to warm it up before church so I could sing tonight. During worship, I crackled so bad, I had no control over pitch, I could barely find the melody of a song, yet it was the most beautiful moment I have ever experienced between my God and I. Brandon asked us once again to get alone with God and as I made my way to my place, I knew that sitting would not cut it. I had this urge to be on my knees. So I went. Then to my hands, then to my face. Before you know it I am lying totally on the floor before God praying for my friend and praying for my failures. As far as I know, the only people in that room were God and I.

So its time to come back to our seats... wait, (tangent) I had a feeling that I should stay where I was but I got up anyway. Why did I get up? Hmm... Anyway, so I return to my feet, but I don't get up alone, no, I'm accompanied by a massive, pounding, headache. I kinda walk back to my seat and as I stand there, I can barely hold myself up, I can barely lift my had to God when I feel Him. What I can't do (and this is coming to me as I type) is lift my head to face Him, I can't sing. In a matter of 15-20 minutes, I am unable to physically face God, I am unable to speak with God in song.

Like Brandon said to me, maybe I need to just shut up and listen.

Honest Worship

You could've heard us for miles tonight. Singing our hearts out to God Almighty. With voices praising and stomachs aching for the Lord, we worshiped. But how often do we worship only in an atmosphere such as the one we were in tonight? I know that its not too often for me. Sure there are times when I have that moment with God when I'm playing guitar in my room or something but it no where near enough. Not saying that those moments aren't special because they are. Its just that I'm one to believe that not every worship experience should leave you feeling wonderful. Sometimes, during worship, I feel terrible because I know that I don't take the time to praise Him when I know that I absolutely can.

Last night I read trough all of Song of Songs, and as I read, my imagination ran wild. I envisioned a young man and young woman so in love with one another that every "hello" would be given as though they hadn't seen one another for years but had talked quite regularly (you know the one) and every "goodbye" was shared like the one shared if you are going off to war. I want my relationship with God to be just like this. Anytime I feel like He isn't around, I go on a search for Him, turning over anything and everything to find Him. I want communicate with Him almost in song because of my love for Him. And I want for Him to constantly touch me and tell me that I am His and His alone...

All in all, this time of fasting was beyond unbelievable. I have had my eyes opened and now I want to explore more about fasting and its effect on my relationship with God.

What a Sacred Gathering

Tonight marked the second night of our Sacred Gathering at church. I feel God working in me. I feel His spirit living in me. He has laid some things on my heart that I need to face, some things I new about, and some I thought were gone. He is also bringing me closer with my new church family.

I am becoming closer and closer with Brandon and Crystal with every day that I get to see them. I envy the relationship that they have with one another, for it is pure and compassionate. My prayer partner, Justin, is such a great guy! He is honest and true right in the face of God and that is something I aspire to be. Our little prayer "huddle" was so in tune with God's heart tonight that I believe our faces were glowing with the Glory of the King of Kings. You know what that feels like for me? It feels like an earthquake of the soul. An unspeakable energy, pulsating from my inner most being, out through my hands, feet, voice, and eventually my entire body. Its pure and Holy.

During our prayer "huddle", Brandon prayed for me. He prayed a number of things but the one that went deeper than any other was a prayer that i would hunger for scripture and desire to soak it up. That prayer cut straight to my heart like the bitter wind of winter.We all know that wind, the wind that makes long goodbyes at the car become quick "see ya"s. This desire for scripture is esential to me. Its something I lack, yet have always been interested in. But now, mere interest isn't going to work, I need a desperation for it. I need to understand God's Ruah as much as the scriptures will allow. The same goes for the deeper meanings of Raya, Ahavah, and Dod. All things that have interested me but i have yet to go deeper with.

Father, I love you. Place within me a burning desire to devour your Holy Scripture with a heart that is after Your own. I need to thank You for those You have placed in my life in the last weeks Father and ask that You cherish them, because You know that I do. Draw us closer as you draw me to You. I love you!


In Jesus Christ, Amen.

New Ground

I’ve decided to move away from the now generic myspace when it comes to blogging. I just find that less and less people blog on there and actually speak their mind. So in fear of becoming that person, I am here to express feelings on whatever I feel necessary.